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MARRIAGE
The payment of dowry is an integral part of
the marriage institution among the Borana. The
dowry is paid by the boys father. The boy
also contributes to the dowry. There is no specific
limit to the amount of dowry paid. It depends
on the demands of the girls parents and
the negotiating ability of the boys father.
A consensus will however be reached, primarily
according to the economic status of the bride.
Dowry is regarded as a present or token given
to the girls parents for taking good care
of her.
Cows and goats are given for dowry.
Negotiations are accepted and take only a day.
Parents of both parties are involved. There is
no set time for one to pay all dowry. The remaining
dowry can be paid slowly as long as the couple
is together. Education level of the girl is not
a factor in determining dowry. It all depends
on negotiating ability of the parents.
If the girl decides to change her mind, then
all the dowry will be returned, PLUS a fine. In
case it is the man who changes his mind, only
a small fraction of the dowry will be returned.
The marriage ceremony is marked by the tying
of a matrimonial cord and is conducted by a Kadhi
(Muslim priest). Traditional songs and dances
are performed and food and drinks served for all
present.
The expenses incurred from the ceremony are
met by both families-bride and grooms. Relatives,
friends and well-wishers also make contributions.
The marriage ceremony lasts for a couple of weeks-often
two.
Conflict in Marriage
The couples parents will try to solve
a conflict between their married children. If
they fail to do so, a council of elders will be
convened to look into the matter.
If the couple fails to reach an amicable solution,
they separate temporarily. This will enable them
to make up their mind and also serve to reduce
the simmering tension. The wife leaves the home.
Children are left under the care of their father.
The mother will however be allowed to carry the
infant child with her-if any. The father will
continue providing for both the children in his
custody as well as any other that may have left
with the mother.
If conflict persists, the couple may divorce.
The mother simply packs her belongings and leaves
the house. The couple consults the Kadhi to untie
the matrimonial knot. Divorce is not allowed.
It is the last resort. It is allowed in case of
unfaithfulness among the couple, incompatibility
and lack of understanding.
Grown up children remain with their father. Young
ones leave with the mother.
Dowry is refunded if the divorce is caused by
the wife. As long as the divorce results from
the wifes fault, dowry is refundable, notwithstanding
the many years the two have been together. It
is not a taboo to get divorced. It is considered
as an ordinary situation.
Remarriage is allowed. If the divorced wife
is remarried, dowry is paid for her.
The dowry is much less than that of a new bride.
Modern times have changed the sanctity of the
marriage institution. There has been cultural
erosion and urbanization, which have lead to such
habits as cohabiting and come-we-stay
marriages, especially among the youth.
If one partner dies, the other partner can remarry.
In most cases, the brother of the deceased, or
any other member of the family inherits the widow.
The living partner can remarry after 40 days.
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